Why hello there, and welcome back to Kitchen Catastrophes! After a couple weeks of wobbliness, I’m happy to say we’re back to our solid drunken stumbling. I’m your Literary Lush, Jon O’Guin, and today, we’re tackling Brown Soda Bread and Colcannon, two common Irish side dishes? Why? Well, because we covered Corned Beef last week, and St Paddy’s Day is coming up. If you want to skip the stumbling walk we weave, click this link for the recipes. Everyone else, let’s go for a walk!

Today’s post is actually something of a gamble, though I think a pretty safe one. See, originally, I was going to post this next week, and just have two posts about St Paddy’s day, due to the timing. BUT, unexpectedly, some friends showed up and offered to make Irish stew for the St Paddy’s Day post this year. And sure, if I were SMART, that means I could hold off on these sides until next year and milk another free post out of pre-planning, but as our Corned Beef post last week indicates, I’m pretty bad at remembering that long of a window, so better I churn them out now, and just try and get like, a MONTH ahead of what I’m posting. So, should my friends have their plans explode on them and be unable to make the stew in time, I’ll be back to scrambling for a post next week. But for now, let’s talk starches.

You Never Hear About “Pop” Bread

Irish Soda Bread has long and extensive roots, by which I mean it was invented sometime in the mid 1800’s. We know this is the case because of its name: Irish Soda Bread is leavened by Baking Soda, a product not discovered until the late 1700’s, whose origins are rooted in that most Irish of lands: America.

Renowned for our sensitivity, and cultural restraint.

Oh BOY is this going to be a long walk: So, back in “the day”, which here means somewhere around 500 AD, we discovered a product called “potash” (As in “ash from a pot”). Potash is something of a wonder product, capable of doing a LOT of things. It’s useful as a fertilizer, fire suppressant, food curing (potash can be processed into Saltpeter, discussed in the comments of last Monday’s post), Stump Removal (see previous), making soap, bleaching, creating Lye, medicine…Look, you want to know how important potash is? It’s what POTASSIUM is named after. We needed that shit so bad it got its own ELEMENT.

And it’s made by boiling normal ashes and mixing the resulting powder with stuff. OR, you can go a step farther, and burn your potash to make Pearl Ash (aka Potassium Carbonate). And that’s the important part here. While Europe was, shall we say, “settling into” this new American wilderness, Potash and pearl ash production became a useful source of income: you cleared the wood from your land, and what you didn’t need to build or store, you could burn, and sell the ashes to industrial workers. Pearl Ash was a purer form of potash, and for reasons we may never know, was discovered to able to leaven bread by Native Americans in the mid 1700’s.

Is…that the Iron Cross? Is this Potash a NAZI?

Pearl Ash is actually SUPER important to various food industries, since it’s what you use to Dutch Process cocoa, as a buffer in alcohol production, you use it to make China. The discovery of pearl ash as a refinement of potash led to a lot of exploration of various other “ash” products, and their capabilities, leading to the discovery of Sodium Carbonate, which can be further processed with carbon dioxide and water into Sodium Bicarbonate, aka Baking Soda.

All of this was quasi-overlapping. In 1790, the first patent issued in America was for a potash and pearl ash refining apparatus. In 1792, American Cookery, a cookbook written in America (in what maybe my least valuable clarifying clause of all time), noted that the three primary leavening agents for breads were yeast, emptins (the dregs left from brewing alcohol…so also yeast), and pearl ash. In France, in 1791, a method for industrializing the production of Sodium Carbonate (and later, sodium bicarbonate) was developed and by 1840, a factory was built in America for the production of sodium carbonate and bicarbonate.

Thus, Soda Breads. So how did this quasi-American, quasi-French concoction become associated with the Emerald Isle? The same way everything OTHER food became associated with them: POVERTY!

Ireland: even statues celebrating us look depressed!

Basically, baking soda was shelf-stable, while we hadn’t quite figured out how to do that with yeast yet. At this point, if you wanted yeast, you either had to make what was essentially a sourdough starter, or bum some off of brewers. So you could either throw away flour and sugar, OR buy a little disk of white powder, and scrape it into the loaves as you needed. Which do you think the Irish, a people who, as a Commission of English Landlords found, were living in hellishly poor conditions during this time period, (A fact made more terrifying by the fact that this was essentially a self-report: these were English Landlords, reviewing the conditions ENGLISH LANDLORDS were inflicting on Irish tenants. ) were more likely to use?

That was a sad end. Can we cheer things up with a little Champ? Maybe some Colcannon?

The Brassica Bunch

I’ve talked briefly about brassicas, and colcannon before, so now it’s time to bring it all together.

Colcannon is mashed potatoes with leafy brassicas.

I never claimed it would be HARD to bring together

To be more thorough, and useful for people who don’t feel like reading me compare vegetables to sexy secret robots: Colcannon is an Irish dish consist of Butter, Potatoes, milk, and either Kale, or Cabbage, which are two of the 9 big name vegetables that are all derived from the same species of plant. (The others are Broccoli, Bok Choy, Cauliflower, Collard Greens, Kohlrabi, Brussels Sprouts, and Savoy Cabbage. And while you might say, “Jon, wasn’t it a little silly to put both Cabbage AND Savoy Cabbage on the list?”, I’ll remind you I’m the one with the food knowledge here, because guess what, Napa Cabbage ISN’T in the same species. There is more genetic difference between Napa and Normal cabbage than between Cabbage and Broccoli.) Recipes sometimes mix in sliced scallions, chopped onions or chives, sliced leeks, Laverbread (a kind of seaweed dish), and other herbs. The core idea is “potatoes, dairy, brassica, maybe something else that’s green”

The name is something of an etymological mystery…or at least half of one, since “Col/Kohl/kal/cal” is straight up the word for cabbage in a bunch of European languages, including Irish. (That’s why it’s called Cole-Slaw.) It’s the Cannon part that’s unclear. It could be a bastardization of ceann-fhionn, meaning “white head”, implying that the dish is pretending to be a big ol’ head of cabbage, or a head full of cabbage. Others assert the etymology is from cawl cennin or “leek Soup” in Welsh. The first written appearance of the word is “Coel Callan”, from a Welshman writing of his Irish hosts, so that second guess seems wrong. Callan is an Irish name, so it might just be that the dish was originally called “Callan’s Cabbage”, or “Cal Callan”, and people have overthought it.

This is the first person named Callan I found searching the internet.
We’re all eating his cabbage.

It’s a little out of season right now, in the sense that, like how there are no rules against eating Mashed Potatoes any time of year, many American homes insist there be some on Thanksgiving, so too is Colcannon expected in Irish homes on Halloween, as one of the various “prophetic” foods of that season and others. The cook would stir in a couple items such as a coin, a thimble, a rag, and a twig, and pass the bowls out randomly. What you got in your bowl told you what you’d expect in the coming year. (Recall as we discussed on Halloween, that in the Celtic Calendar, Samhain represents the turning of the year.)

So, colcannon’s easy, what’s champ? Champ is…also easy, just in a complicated way.

Champ is the NORTH Irish potatoes mixed with greens, butter, and milk (and, many assert, Buttermilk) dish. Its etymology is also a mess, in that maybe it’s named for the swampy earth of the region, pounded by boots and soaking wet. (Like how there are dozens of cocktails and soups named “swamp water”) Or maybe it’s named after champing, as in biting and chewing, or maybe the swamp dirt is named after the same thing. (I mean, it wouldn’t be weird in English to say “the wet ground had been chewed up by heavy boots”, after all)

Look at this chewy mud.

The main difference is that, while Colcannon is made with cabbage or kale, Champ is made with scallions. And you might have noticed that I said Colcannon can be made with scallions, to which I, and the historical recipes of Ireland, will say “Shut up.” (If I had to guess, the real distinction between the two dishes is just regionality: North Ireland/Ulster has long been something of a problem child in Irish history and politics, so if they made their Potatoes and Greens slightly differently than the rest of Ireland, then it was probably inevitable they were going to change the name too.)

So, that’s all the history, let’s get to making things

Soda and Spuds

Both of my recipes come from the Irish Pub Cookbook…probably. Again, I made part of this a year ago, and didn’t take notes, because I didn’t intend for it to be a year before I covered it. The recipe LOOKS much the same, except that it’s supposed to include rolled oats, which I see no evidence of in my pictures. Maybe we were out of oats, or maybe I used a different recipe and forgot. The core is the same, you may just need to add a little more flour to absorb the liquid than the recipe calls for.

Speaking of liquid, you need a specific one: Buttermilk. This gives the bread a tang, AND is necessary for the baking soda to work: You remember as a kid how you made Baking Soda and Vinegar volcanoes? THAT’s the process it uses to leaven: Baking Soda has to be mixed with acidic ingredients to leaven bread. Sour/acidulated milk, or buttermilk, are both easy sources of this. (Acidulated milk, while it may sound fancy, is actually very simple: it’s just milk mixed with a very small amount of lemon juice or vinegar, which causes it to separate a little, creating a facsimile of buttermilk. It won’t be quite as good as the real stuff, but if you can’t get the real stuff, it’ll do. Just mix 1 tbsp of acid with a cup of milk.)

I would only recommend this when relying on buttermilk for texture. Like, don’t try to make buttermilk pie with acidulated milk.

I went with a brown bread version, just for that extra bit of nutrition and visual appeal, which meant I had to find whole-wheat flour for the mixture. You don’t use purely whole-wheat, but you use some. And it’s honestly kind of impressive how brown the bread turns out, given how pale the flour itself is.

This could easily be a scoop of light brown sugar.

But yeah, mix 2 cups of normal all-purpose flour with 2 cups whole-wheat, a half cup of rolled oats if you have them, and a teaspoon and a half of salt and 1 teapsoon of baking soda. Then, you’ll have to mix up your wet ingredients, which are your buttermilk (or buttermilk substitute), and molasses.

I tried to do latte art, but physics prevented me.

And…that’s mostly it. Since this isn’t a yeasted dough, you don’t want to knead it nearly as long, as you’d be actively forcing out gas bubbles, and there’s no proofing process. Once the bread is Kneaded for 3-5 minutes, you form it into a circle, slice the top (this will control the bread’s steaming, so it doesn’t “pop” the loaf in an ugly way while cooking), and pop into a 450 degree (225 for you Celsius users) oven for 15 minutes. Then turn the heat down to 400 (200), and bake another 20 minutes.

The result: Bread!

The bread’s perfectly fine. It’s warm, thick, and feels nice and hearty. I had no complaints about the bread, and unlike the Corned beef, it was all eaten within a few days.

With the bread done, let’s turn our attention to the Colcannon. Or the Champ. Since they’re so similar, I’ll be giving a rough outline of both while personally making the Colcannon.

The first step is to just boil and mash some potatoes. The difference comes in what you do while the potatoes are boiling. For Champ, you need to slice up a TON of scallions, and simmer them in some milk. You’ll use the now-scallion flavored milk while mashing the potatoes, before stirring in the scallions. For Colcannon, as the potatoes boil, you slice up a head of cabbage.

This looks like taco prep.

The technical directions are to drain the potatoes and mash them with cream and butter, and then fill a different pot with salted water, bring it to a boil, and briefly cook the cabbage. I cut out the middleman by scooping out the potatoes to a working bowl, and using the already-boiling water to cook the cabbage.

Fold everything together with some chopped scallions, season with salt and pepper, and you’ve got Colcannon!

“It’s very visually interesting,” Jon lied.

For a truly authentic recipe, you’d want to melt butter and make a little butter-bowl on the top of every serving (like, push a ladle into the top of each serving and fill the little divot with melted butter) which maybe we’ll do, but we’re already several hours late, so I’m going to call it here, and bid you all a good day. You’ve got bread, you’ve got sides, and you’re only a couple days away from having Corned Beef if you started it last week. And if you didn’t, well, next Monday we’ll be showing you a recipe for Irish stew you can use with these sides.

THURSDAY: MAYBE IT’LL BE A REVIEW OF A SHOW, MAYBE WE’LL TALK ABOUT LEAVENERS, I DON’T KNOW. I HAD ANOTHER IDEA LAST NIGHT/THIS AFTERNOON, BUT I HAVE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN IT AT THE MOMENT.

MONDAY: IRISH STEW, HOPEFULLY. IF NOT, PROBABLY SOMETHING WITH BUTTERMILK, SINCE I BOUGHT A PINT OF IT BEFORE I DECIDED WHETHER I WAS MAKING COLCANNON OR CHAMP, AND NOW I’VE GOT TO USE IT FOR SOMETHING.

Here's the

Recipes

Brown Soda Bread

Serves 4-6

Ingredients

2 cups all purpose flour

2 cups whole wheat flour

½ cup rolled oats

1 ½ tsp salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 ¾ cup buttermilk

2 tbsp molasses

Preparation

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees.
Mix together flours, salt, oats, and baking powder. IN a separate bowl, beat together the buttermilk and molasses. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry, and fold to form a dough. Using floured hands, briefly knead the dough until smooth.
Form the dough into a circle, slice an x into the top, and move to a lined baking sheet. Place into the oven, and bake for 15 minutes. Lower the heat to 400, and cook an additional 20-25 minutes, until set, and the bottom sounds hollow when tapped.

Colcannon

Serves 4-6

Ingredients

4 floury potatoes (aka Russets or Yukon Gold)

4 tbsp unsalted butter

2/3 cup Half-and-half or light cream

1 small head green cabbage (roughly 1-2 pounds)

6 scallions, chopped

Salt and pepper

Preparation

Cut the potatoes into roughly equal sized chunks, and place in a pot. Fill with cold water to about 1” above the potatoes. Add 1 tablespoon salt. Place over high heat, and bring to a boil. Let boil 15 minutes, or until potatoes offer no resistance when stabbed with a knife.
While the potatoes are boiling, quarter, core, and thinly slice the cabbage. Remove the potatoes from the water with a slotted spoon or Spider, add another tablespoon salt, and boil the cabbage in the potato water for 1-2 minutes.
Mash the potatoes with the cream and butter. Fold in the cabbage and scallions, and season with salt and pepper. Serve warm.