Waahoo
WHy hello there, and our apologies, but today’s Kitchen Catastrophe is canceled. Delayed? Cancayed? Delaled? The point is it’s not happening today. Maybe it happens Thursday, maybe it doesn’t.
In honor of the lost joy this announcement has no doubt cost you, let’s play a quick fun game: Which of these happened this morning/afternoon, leading to Jon not having the post done on time? Is it:
A. He was ‘robbed’ of his shirt.
B. He was “covered’ in goo.
C. He threw up so hard, he tasted alcohol he drank 36 hours ago.
D. He had his first ambulance ride
or
E. The story of Jon’s life is an unceasing parade of madness and mishap, so I’m going all of the above.
I’ll give you some time to think it over.
Do
do
do
do do
do
do
do
do
do
do
do
DOOT
do-do-do-do-do
Alright, if you picked “Parade of Sorrows”, you WON!
Specifically, Jon woke up, and immediately knew he had a kidney stone, because he’s had like, 5 of them. He has become accustomed to the signs. He went to urgent care, where he, after about 40 minutes, threw up from the escalating pain. This forced the nurses, based on his other symptoms, to give him an EKG, to ensure he wasn’t having a heart attack. (The EKG stickers are backed with frankly excess amount of goo-like adhesive). They took his shirt off, put the stickers on, ran the test, and he came back normal, just in agony.
At which point they said, “well, we don’t have the equipment or drugs to help you, so you gots to go to the emergency room”. So they (finally) gave him some pain meds, plopped him in an ambulance and drove him away…without contacting his ride TO the urgent care, who proceeded to sit in the wrong parking lot for 3 hours. Also, his shirt did not make it from the ambulance to the hospital.
More hilarity ensued (like, just before he got the real pain meds, since the ones he was given before the ambulance ride only too his pain from a 7 to a 5, his IV line sprang a leak, releasing a frankly excessive amount of blood, and forcing them to set up a new IV before he could be medicated) but he is now home…7 hours after he woke up. So…Yeah, he does not have the time or energy to get the post up today, so he’ll either do it Thursday, or do a Quick Tip Thursday, and we’ll just miss this one.
Stay safe, and I gotta go lie down.
