Why Hello there, and welcome to what may turn into something of a fusion post, hence the title. See, on “Monday”, I said that we’d be covering Tapas today, and…well, the fact of the matter is that other than a couple fun cultural details, history, and examples, there’s not a lot “to” tapas: once you get the idea, it’s pretty straightforward. So I may take some time at the end to highlight various tapas, and how they connect to the broader Spanish pantry, since I think that’s a good pairing with having to unpack how Spanish dining culture shaped Tapas, and vice versa. So, let’s pop the tapas of these, and dig in.

Sherry Entertaining, and Putting a lid on it.

To take a Carl Sagan style roundabout path, to discuss tapas, you first have to discuss Sherry, as almost EVERY story about the creation of tapas suggests it was born next to, or because of, sherry. Sherry is a Spanish fortified wine, with means it is a wine that has had a higher proof spirit (typically a brandy) added to it. And if you’re sitting there thinking “All I know about sherry and brandy is that they’re kind of fancy..and that you can buy “cooking sherry” for like, 3 dollars”, you’re not wrong: remember that, once upon a time, making hard alcohol was a very long, hard, EXPENSIVE process. Brandy was a drink for dukes and counts. But even the common Spaniard drank sherry, and that’s because…well, funnily, it’s because of medieval capitalism.

I choose to believe that child is an apprentice, and not a product.

See, Sherry is, in the EU, a DOP product, like Champagne, or Parmigiano-Reggiano: you can only legally call something Sherry if it was made in a specific region, in a specific way. That region is in Spain. Spain was making their own kind of wine for centuries before they started fortifying it. And then, they got invaded by Morocco and taken over by Muslims, as we’ve covered in some posts before. But here’s the thing: while Islam forbids the consumption of alcohol, the Sherry-making region of Spain was allowed to keep making wine. Why? Because it was one of the more popular, and therefore more valuable trade goods. The Moors couldn’t tear out the vineyards without making their new lands a lot less valuable.

A century or two later, and Spain was no longer ruled by Muslims, so everyone could drink again, and oh, look, we have all these barrels of wine lying around! So Spain’s drinking culture has long been connected with wine drinking, and particularly sherry. A BUNCH of interesting stuff happened with the sherry over the years, which we don’t have time to unpack, but it became very popular in England, as an imported drink. It’s in Shakespeare! (they called it “Sherris Sack” or “sack”) So as it became more expensive and fancier, sherry became one of the go-to drinks for English nobles and rich people to show off how cultured they were: Sherry and Port (a similar product from Portugal) were these fancy, imported, aged and fortified wines.

Meanwhile, in Spain, you could get basically shot-glasses of it that you sipped in the cellars the casks were stored in. You know the word “bodega”? This is why: Bodega is a Spanish word for cellar, and was a common name for sherry cellars/sherry bars.

Speaking of translations and history, as we noted on Tuesday “tapa” literally means “lid”, as in “the lid to a jar or pot”. And I also gave you one of the more popular stories on the origin of the name: that a king (often suggested to be Alfonso X) went on a trip, and was served ‘wine’ (sherry), in a glass on which a ‘lid’ consisting of ham and bread was placed. That’s ONE of the explanations. Others claim it was a different king, and/or that the king recovered from an illness by drinking sherry with small snacks, OR that the king was trying to fight public drunkenness by REQUIRING bars sell sherry with “a lid” to help absorb the alcohol.

More prosaic ideas point out that a lot of Tapas are either salty or spicy, and that, you know, those are kind of…KEY bar-snack demographics to convince people to buy more drinks. Some suggest that the idea of using bread to cover wine glasses to keep out fruit flies then added said salty snacks in order to prompt people to buy more. Others point out the age-old cocktail party conundrum: if you have alcohol in one hand, and food in the other, you can’t eat the food, since both your hands are full, and suggest that Spain’s solution to this was to place the food dish or vessel on top of the glass, so you could eat the food with your (now) free-hand, and then pick up the plate when you wanted to drink.

Which, if you’re not using a wimpy champagne flute, actually works pretty well.

At least one theory suggests that, since so few people could read as these establishments were catching on, that bar and innkeepers would offer samples from a couple pots of food options to prospective clients on the lid of the pot. No one’s 100% certain. But the general thrust is: tapas are meant to be a lid for your sherry drinking.

Now, that’s pretty simple, but, if all tapas are are Happy Hour snacks, how did they get so popular? The answer to that connects to…well, I’d say the last people you expect, but if you’re talking Spanish dining trends, you’d guess “Nazi” LONG before you guessed, like “Mennonite” or “Inuit”, so I guess not the LAST people you’d expect.

I Did Nazi That Coming

That’s right, part of the popularity of Tapas is thanks to the Nazis. Why? How? Did Spain even FIGHT in World War 2? To answer those questions in reverse order: No, they were “neutral” due to having JUST completed a Civil War and instating a military dictator. I put Neutrality in quotes because Franco, the dictator just alluded to, TRIED to join the Axis, but…asked for too much, to the point where, supposedly, even HITLER thought Franco was annoying as shit, and would rather get his teeth pulled than deal with Franco again.

“Caudilla? More like “cock-dill-weed”.” - Hitler, probably.

Despite that sick dismissal, Franco supported the Axis powers, going so far as to CHANGE Spain’s TIME ZONE so they were on the same clocks as Germany. Which is a weird flex, and one with a glaring problem: as so many people complain around Daylight Savings Time, the SUN doesn’t really care what time you SAY it is. This is the root of one of the details of Spain that some people find fascinating: Spanish dinners often start at like, 9-10 PM. Midnight is a LATE dinner, but not unheard of. That’s BECAUSE of this time shift: Dinners USED to be at like, 8, and then Franco fucked with time. (This is also partly why Spaniards are so well known for their siestas: while Siestas were fairly common among a LOT of cultures, especially around the Mediterranean, Spain specifically lengthened their lunch break by an hour in part to accommodate a potential need for a nap based on the time shift, and later due to the fact a lot of people were working two jobs)

This ended up creating an issue: if you DIDN’T take all that long a lunch break, or started your day fairly early, you might be finishing work at 6 or 7 in the afternoon, with HOURS to go until dinner. What do you do? Well, if only there was some kind of small portable snack you could go and grab after work with your friends, before going home and having dinner with your family. Something salty and fairly light, to keep from killing your appetite. OH, LOOK, I’ve wandered into a Sherry bar! May as well have some Tapas!

I’m sure we’ll come up with something after a couple drinks.

Just as American bars have Happy Hour to celebrate the end of a work day, Spaniards love to ir de tapas/tapaer both verbs meaning “to go get tapas” (Like how recently some Americans have started leaning into “brunch” as a verb)

So, that’s the history of Tapas, so let’s talk Form.

A Fine Way Tapas The Time

When you vas de tapas, here’s some basics/common options you’ll encounter. Firstly, if you’re in the fancier/more old-school locations, your tapas might be “free”: many older bars (at least used to, the world now is a chaotic pit, and I’m certainly not going to be allowed to fly to Spain to check if it still works this way) include a basic option such as olives, nuts, or bread as a free pairing with an order of sherry.

Then there are basic tapas options, and there may even be racíones, or “rations”, which refer to tapas intended to be shared.

These are all “raciones para dos”, or “servings for two”.

Now, where you’re getting your nosh on changes how you do it: In Northern Spain, what’s known as Basque country, instead of tapas, there are pinchos, and the system is like, one part salad bar, one part conveyor-belt sushi restaurant: the bar itself will have plates of food arranged in skewers on toothpicks. You grab as many as you want, and you pay for the number of toothpicks on your plate at the end. (Hence my comparison to the Conveyor-belt sushi, where you pay for the number of plates)

In the South, you’re more likely to see something not unlike a cafeteria-style set-up meeting a bar, where you point at food in a glass case, and the server either hands it to you, or, if it needs to be cooked/heated, pops it into the kitchen and brings it out to you when it’s hot.

I guess it’s like a bakery case in that way.

It’s fairly rare that you pay up-front, instead taking the time to drink and eat, and get another plate or another drink (which in the modern era doesn’t NEED to be sherry anymore: it can be beer, wine, even soda for those who abstain from alcohol), until you ask for the bill.

Alright, so those are the basics of the etiquette, the history, and the cultural effects of Nazi time on Spanish culture. Let’s wrap up with a quick summary of some popular/iconic Tapas.

Marcona Almonds- Marcona is the variety of Almonds grown in Spain. They’re a little thicker and softer than California almonds, and they’re a popular free tapas option, often sold toasted and tossed in a simple seasoning: salt, paprika, rosemary, etc.

Aceitunas- This is the Spanish word for Olives. Specifically, brined/cured olives, the word technically meaning something like “the oiled ones”. Olives are very popular in Spain, and can come with red pepper stuffed in them (this is where Pimento Olives come from) or other fillings, such as cheese, garlic, or anchovies.

This is actually a market stall OF olives, but that top row are all tapas options.

Anchovies: speaking of which, straight up anchovies or sardines are popular tapas options. Typically the brined kind you might buy in a can (and Spain/Portugal have some of the best canned seafood in the world, with a can of clams being over $45, so that’s not as weird as you might think), but sometimes grilled

Calamares o Pulpo – Yeah, I’m just going to bounce back and forth between Spanish and English for these titles, so that’s something you’ll have to adapt to. As you might have guessed from the Italian cognate, “Calamares” means “squid”. What you might not have known is that “pulpo” means “octopus”. Spain, being as it is a peninsula on the Mediterranean and Atlantic, eats a fair bit of seafood, and their tapas don’t skimp on it. Often the calamares and pulpo will be fried in a light batter to give a crisp/crunchy exterior. Which reminds me…

Croquettes: Yes, just as with American appetizers, crunchy fried foods are a popular Spanish tapas, with various croquettes being a common sight. While we made Chicken a while back, in Spain, you’re more likely to see Jamón (Ham) and/or Queso (cheese) ones, though a WIDE variety of fillings are available: Chicken, Chorizo, Mushroom, Spinach, etc. Basically anything that taste good mixed with potatoes and fried.

Chorizo y Queso Con Pan – Chorizo in Spain is a cured sausage, closer to a paprika-heavy salami than the wet Mexican chorizo you’d find in Queso Fundido or other Tex-Mex dishes. As such, this is basically a small assortment of charcuterie: slices of cured meat, cheese, and bread.

Chorizo al vino/a la sidra: A variety of Chorizo cooked in either red wine (vino) or hard cider (sidra)

Gambas – Sautéed Shrimp. often served sautéed with garlic, or with chili-peppers, or in some kind of sauce. Another example of seafood, and another good indicator of the kind of mentality of tapas: Shrimp cook FAST, and they’re easy to eat.

As someone who doesn’t particularly like Shrimp, I can only assume this is an appetizing picture.

Patatas Bravas – Fried Potatoes make another appearance as the heart of a Tapa that I have wanted to make for YEARS, but never had the ingredients, desire and time line up for: Patatas Bravas, or “Fierce Potatoes”, these are actually very easy to explain: they’re spicy home fries. Specifically, they’re chunks of potato (between ½ and ¾ of an inch wide) fried until crispy, and served with a spicy sauce.

Spanish Tortilla – As previously noted, a popular option, and in some bars, the only reliably hearty vegetarian choice, as so many options focus on seafood or sausage.

Tigres: Tigres are breaded and fried mussels, served in the shell. I finished with this because A: I was going with a quasi-Alphabetical arrangement, and because I think it’s fun to bring back both the fried and seafood components.

And that’s an intro course to Tapas: Spanish bar snacks and appetizers, made popular in part by Nazis. History, man: it’s weird as fuck sometimes.

MONDAY: I WAS SUPPOSED TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT BY NOW! DAMN IT. IF I KNEW WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT CORN I BOUGHT, I’D SAY “A THAI TAKE ON GRILLED CORN”, BUT I THINK SOMEONE ELSE THREW IT OUT. MAYBE IT’LL BE A CHICKPEA PITA THING. I DON’T KNOW, MY SCHEDULE IS BONED RIGHT NOW.

THURSDAY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH