Why hello there, and welcome to a thing I’ve actually wanted to do for a while, and never put together before. Today, we’re going to talk about FLAVOR ICONS, and the assorted similar programs, and try this year’s batch. Before I do, a reminder that literally no one pays me other than our Patrons, so this isn’t sponsored in any way. I literally just wanted to talk about Potato Chips today.

Isn’t It Iconic, Dontcha Think?

So, if you’ve had BETTER things to do with your time, you may not know this, for the last like, 6 years, Lays potato Chips (Walkers, if you’re in the UK) have introduced a line of 4…what do you mean this year there’s five? Son of a- One minute, please.

…

Alright, so there ARE five flavors, but one is not in the stores near me, so that was a bust. In honor of such frustrating details, let’s get a little more precise: For the last SEVEN years (counting this one: it started Summer 2014), Lays has, in the summer, introduced SEVERAL new flavors of chips. Originally, the system was called “Do Us A Flavor”, and the idea was that, at the end of the summer, they would pick one of the flavors to produce on a more permanent basis. MOST years this has been 4 new flavors per year, and as the process went on, they’ve toyed with whether or not they’re making the chip more consistently, with 2016’s flavors being international flavors in honor of the Olympics, 2018 had EIGHT flavors assigned regionally, 2019 had THREE flavors based on remixing the same song to three different genres (with the idea being that each chip matched a given genre) and this year, they technically have FIVE flavors. I say “technically” because one of the flavors is a Wal-mart/Seven-Eleven exclusive, and isn’t even included on the packaging for the other four.

Try them All!
* - Except the one we don’t want to talk about.

In my opinion, it’s actually a pretty fun idea, and almost disgustingly genius in terms of marketing. Like, Lays potato chips have ALMOST fallen to the point of Xeroxicde: they’re so ubiquitous a brand that they have inhabited the platonic IDEA of a potato chip for many Americans…and therefore struggle to advertise/distinguish themselves: other brands show off what they have IN COMPARISON to Lay’s, which is the assumed default.

This system allows them to tap into a bit of functionally free marketing during their busiest season, and re-center the discussion on themselves. It ALSO lets them do limited runs of flavor profiles, allowing them to test new recipes/ideas in a broader context, with the free bail-out of “it’s a contest, they don’t all have to be good.” It’s a nation-wide focus group that motivates people to buy it on FOMO (fear of missing out), doesn’t have to be particularly good, and they can blame others if they choose not to continue a flavor.

I could do a whole break-down of the various flavors over the years, which ones I liked, and which ones I didn’t, because, as I suggested in the start of the piece, I have been on this train since the get-go, baby. I have personally tried probably 70+% of the flavors, and the thing LOWERING that is that…well, A: the summer of 2018 I wasn’t really in a “Ooh, look at all these chips” place, and B: they were assigned regionally, so it would have taken ordering online/a road trip to get all the options, and it’s weird that I assigned those roughly equal ‘frustrating’ levels. I think I STILL HAVE two of the bags from last year’s contest, unopened, because I didn’t know there was only three, so I set them aside until I found the last one.

ONE bag. I had one bag left. And I threw it away, since it said “best by June 2019”

BUT, A: I’d be relying on my notoriously bad memory for my impressions of chips I ate up to 7 years ago, and B: most of them aren’t available anymore/you wouldn’t want them if they WERE available. (Like, if I tell you I really liked the Southern Biscuits and Gravy chips from 2015…what’s your reaction going to be? Are you going to find an unopened bag of 5 year old chips?) At least with these 4, they’re still in stores, and will be for a couple weeks. (the promotion ends 9/10/20, according to the bags themselves.)

So, let’s break down this year’s contenders: The Flavor Icons. These 4 chip flavors are based on for Icons of regional cuisine. Not the dishes themselves (though, also true to an extent), but 4 specific eateries that are considered contenders or Icons in their respective fields. So let’s hop in!

Grimaldi’s Pizza

“Grimaldi’s” sounds like a Pizzeria from the Wizarding World.
”Accio asiago!”

So, I don’t know about Grimaldi’s. I know about a fair number of pizza places in New York, but I don’t know that Grimaldi’s has ever come up. But, still, the idea of “New York Style Pizza” is one I intuitively understand. If you don’t know what defines New York style pizza, I apologize, because I intended to do a breakdown of Pizza traditions years ago, but it’s JUST complicated enough to be annoying: the basics are that New York style tends to go for a thinner (but not like shatteringly crisp) crust, with large, broad slices. You should be able to ‘fold’ your slice into a taco-like shape, or back over itself. Tends to be made with a couple simple toppings. Supposedly, Grimaldi’s is a little heavier on the sauce than other locations, and that makes sense for the chip.

You saucy little minx.

This is, in many ways, more of a “pizza SAUCE” chip than it is a “PIZZA” chip. There’s a lot more tomato and herb flavor. And that’s not bad at all. I personally would like a little more cheese/meat flavor, but it’s a perfectly fine chip, especially if you’re into pizza sauce. It’s maybe a little TOO flavorful, in fact, for a snacking chip.

Geno’s Cheesesteak

Unlike Grimaldi, Geno is an ENTIRELY normal sounding name to associate with Philly Cheesesteaks.
”HEY GENO, You gotta steak for me?” just SOUNDS right.

If you want to know how confident Geno’s is about their Cheesesteaks, here’s my context: Geno’s is located at an intersection in downtown Philadelphia. On the opposite corner of that intersection is Pat’s King of Steaks, the cheesesteak restaurant opened by Pat Olivieri, one of the INVENTORS of the sandwich. This is a business that saw the man who DESIGNED their product, across the street and said “I think I can do better”. Do they? I have no idea, I didn’t know any of this while I was in Philly (I was 13), and spent all my time a mile north in the historical district. But they’ve been there for decades, so they’re probably at least CLOSE.

I can’t tell if I got a lot closer to this chip than the rest, or if it was notably large.

The Geno’s chips are…weird. Not bad, but this chip and one other one I’ve had on two separate occasions, and both times, my opinion of them went up the second time. My first impression of these was “cheese and char”: a perfectly fine cheese flavor, obscured by a weird charred-beef flavor that I didn’t think fully worked. The second time, I determined that the beef flavor is inter-woven with a carmellized onion and pepper flavor, and I don’t know if it was a matter of the first bag not being a great batch, or a matter of my surroundings (ie, the first time I had them was in a higher, drier climate) or just that the more I ate it, the better I got at picking out the flavors. With the full experience, I think they’re perfectly fine.

Carnitas Tacos

There was a BRIEF but VERY AFFECTING earthquake when I went to take this picture.

These are based on the Carnitas tacos from Marina Del Ray, California, at a place called El Torito. I don’t know a lot about this, because my knowledge of California is weirdly Polar: I’ve spent a couple weeks in Northern California, and a couple weeks in San Diego, but I think I’ve only been in LA (where Marina Del Ray is) on my way to Disneyland as a child. Indeed, I think I’ve only been in the region between SD and Sacramento twice, and that’s because I have family in Bakersfield. But…I do have family in Bakersfield, and indeed my father’s family lived in SoCal during his youth, so I do have some familiarity with their ways. I know what a “hodag” is, for instance (thought with that one I have to clarify “not the monster from Wisconsin”. And no, I don’t know why the two use the same word, other than maybe it’s a weird accusation of being a phony, since the Hodag was a famous hoax?)

He’s gone off on a tangent. Want a snack?

None of that was relevant for this chip, other than maybe as an explanation for why it might be my favorite? It’s got a kind of complicated flavor, with some bright sweetness up front that doesn’t QUITE taste like limes, and then some herbal notes that aren’t quite cilantro. It weirdly doesn’t taste amazingly like a carnitas taco, but it tastes good, and it kind of invokes the same ideas of citrus, herbs, and meat.

Nashville Hot Chicken

Party Fowl is a great name for a chicken restaurant.
Marginally better for a Chicken-based catering company, but life isn’t perfect.

So I’ve had NY pizza in New York. I’ve had a philly in Philly. And while I’ve never been to Marina del Ray, or listened to her music much, I have had carnitas tacos in SoCal (and NorCal. And in other places. Hell, I turned some of the pulled pork I made last week into basically Carnitas). Here’s where we hit the edge of my knowledge. I’ve had plenty of spicy Chicken sandwiches, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a ‘real’ Nashville Hot Chicken Sandwich. It’s hard to know: I’ve eaten a LOT of Spicy chicken sandwiches, so remembering if it was specifically “Nashville Hot” is a bit of an ask. But I don’t THINK I’ve ever had the specific cayenne-based spice paste/oil you’d need for a Nashville, outside maybe trying one of the KFC versions.

Basically as authentic as the chips themselves.

This was the second chip, along with Geno’s, that improved the second time I had it. The first time, I would have told you it was a pretty decent fried chicken chip…that needed a lot more spice to claim the name Nashville Hot. The Second time, the fried chicken flavor was a little more muted, and I did, after eating 6-7 chips, get a building back-of-the-throat heat. Since I love spicy food so much, it still doesn’t wow me, but it’s perfectly fine.

Honestly, that’s a good overview of all of them: nothing that blew my mind, but nothing outright vile (though the Geno’s were borderline bad when I first tried them.) It’s a solid set this year…assuming the Chile Relleno ones I can’t get aren’t terrible/amazing.

MONDAY: ONE LAST BURGER, WHOSE DETAILS ARE AS-OF-YET-UNKNOWN.

THURSDAY: WE ESCAPE ASIAN AUGUST 2, TO DO…SOMETHING? I DON’T KNOW.